Let’s talk about a little phrase “so gay”

Is the term “gay” changing, yet again? Is it a homophobic comment? Should teachers, teach students not to say it? Here’s what I’ve found…

My Logic on the term “So Gay”: 

1. It used to mean happy. Now its primary connotation is to sexuality.
2. If you mean it in a negative way, than you are demonstrating an uninclusive attitude towards gay people (homophobia). This is against the law in Victoria, Australia as well as in Canada, and most countries that recognise same sex relationships (Belgium, UK, even bloody Kosevo).
3. If you say “that’s so gay” and you mean “uncool”, you are saying that gay people are the definition of “uncool”. That’s homophobic.

But, Is the Word Changing?

A number of people (of all ages) have made the argument that the term has changed. “That’s so gay” now only means, “uncool” if you aren’t talking about “gay people”; these people might also tag on there, “I don’t have anything against gay people”.

 TWO PREMISES BEHIND THE ASSUMPTION “the term is changing”:

FIRST PREMISE: You have to know the rules before breaking them: what I mean by this is that, you can’t change the definition of something without really understanding the definiton of something.

In this case, if you know people who identify as “gay” then, you would know that they probably don’t appreciate you assuming that they have no “cool” factor.

If you dont’ know someone gay, then, you probably don’t have any way of understanding that “gay” is a category like “son” that someone somewhere is identifying as; in which case, you really do not have any right to re-define the term because you do not fully understand it.

I know this one really well, because I used to use this term way back when I was in high school, too. Then I discovered that I might be gay. Then I had the unfortunate painful experience of  experiencing discrimination.

Here’s an example: I recently came across two people who were laughing at someone’s skin colour. This is  hurtful because these two people clearly did not have a proper understanding of how much pain has been endured because of skin colour.  They are denying this history of pain. It’s the equivalent of laughing at victims of the Halocaust. Just. not. funny.

SECOND PREMISE: The term “I don’t have anything against gay people”. Why would you? Saying something like this allows the discrimination to flourish–even if you really don’t “have anything against”.

In fact, you might be doing further harm, because when you say something that is crap is ”gay”, you might be scaring a few people off from identifying as “gay”.

And, in an era when the terms for sexual orientation are particularly limiting, you are limiting someone else’s experience–whether you mean to or not.

However, Regardless of Logic or Experience

However, there is a vastly spreading of using the phrase “so gay” for uncool, so I’m just going to have to reclaim it. Yep, I’m so gay. Oohh. Hush. There. It’s out.

I actually feel cooler for saying it.

Tags: bullying, gay, queer theory, so gay, that's so gay